Toque Talk

Let me talk about a new career, er, racket that has somehow been driving me nuts for about a week now:  I, the very-soon-to-be-chef , am plunging into another world devoid of the steam of the kitchen, the potential hazard of a newly-honed chef’s knife, vegetable peels and  meat scraps for the simmering broth, and cream curdled to oblivion. Instead, I re-enter the world of imaginary fourth walls, of centerstages and upstages, of voices being thrown to the air..the world where Stanislavsky, along with his protégées  and other never-before-heard names, reign supreme. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am back to theatre, this time, with a professional group. Blame it on a very good friend who has this uncanny talent of sniffing away at rackets/ money-making schemes. Two weeks ago, I willed myself to be dragged into this audition where we, fortunately, only had to do a cold reading of a script for a play (a digression: in one audition I went to about a year ago and a half ago, I had to sing and dance – imagine the torture I had to go through. To make the long story short, I never made it. Who knows if Zorayda Sanchez did). The following morning, while I was still lost in my dreams, I received a text message informing me to come back for a workshop. I was happy to learn later that day that my two friends, Olive and Jenny, who had auditioned with me, had also received the same message. It was during the workshop,where we were observed, “sorted out” and finally, assigned the stageplays we were to become part of . I, along with Jennie, and three other girls were assigned for Subtext, which I am proud to say is the longest-running play here in our country. I’d already seen the play thrice but it never occurred to me that I’d be part of that production someday. Well, that someday turns to be now.  Last week, when our director Niel de Mesa gave us two Subtext posters, I immediately let out a gasp and a cuss word that alarmed Tiff, my co-actor who sat beside me, for there, at the very center of the billing, was my name…our names! And the playdates were Sept 22,23,27 and 28 and October 1 – just a few days after our first rehearsal. This was it. “Wala na talagang urungan ito,” I whispered to Tiff. I had to remind myself that during the orientation, direq Niel had mentioned something about training amateurs to be professionals. There was no other way but to keep faith in this guy who, at 28 had won 1^st play in the Palanca and had written and directed numerous plays.

Tonight, we had our first drop-script rehearsal. This means, we were expected to have memorized our lines while we learned the blocking. We rehearsed our scene in pairs, en masse, with a pair of props on both sides of the room: a table and two chairs, a makeshift table and another two chairs, cutleries and wine glasses for two on each table. The scene, which is set in a restaurant, presents  a silhouette of an arguing couple – the girlfriend and the boyfriend. Rehearsing with us were two intimate theatre veterans, Ralph and Arvin who patiently guided us all throughout our rehearsal despite the occasional and truly accidental mishaps during our tough “fight scenes.”  They took it all in stride, really, just a few fractured ribs, a scrunched up finger maybe, a broken nose, a black eye…just kidding. But really, they did suffer a bit under the hands of us, ladies. And we still have a lot of rehearsals to go – more rehearsals until we fully memorize our lines and blocking. Poor boyfriends.

Before Dingdong, our assistant director, dismissed us, he finally told us that we already had our schedules. Clipped between his thumb and forefinger was that piece of paper that revealed when each of us would be performing. The first day was this coming Friday. I crossed my fingers hoping that my God would still allow me to have a  few days lead time before I get pushed  onstage. “Friday…Arvin and Christie.”

It wasn’t me, yes…

“Saturday…” Dingdong read. I crossed my fingers harder till I think it coiled up to an unnatural bend. “…Arvin and Colette.” Oh no, it was me. It was a mixed rush of  excitement and anxiety. Maybe not anxiety, maybe it was nervousness. I was nervous that I might forget my lines, forget my blocking and put not only the whole cast but Koine itself, to shame. Suddenly, all my fears and insecurities quivered to life.

“Nate-ten ka ba?” direq once asked me. “Wag kau ma-ten. Baka kayo mag-collap.” Because it is true that the number one foe of an actor is tension. During one rehearsal day, direq explained to us the dynamics of tension — why actors become tense, what happens when one becomes tense, what to do when tense. With tension, the performance gets affected. And so one must learn how to relax to be able to concentrate and then imagine. Only then can one perform.

As an amateur who has never really been involved in plays of professional theatre groups (except for Repertory Phils’ Willie Wonka in which I was a part of as a teener for our acting workshop culmination), I know I am prone to a lot of mistakes. But I am learning and by the way things are going, I know I am improving – because I like what I am doing. I think all those days and nights spent yelling and throwing back sarcastic retorts at my imaginary boyfriend have paid off. I am grateful to my neighbors who have begun to understand my activities and who are no longer prone to wondering who I am fighting tooth and nail with at the dead of night.

I think I acquiesced to the idea of auditioning not because my friends were into it, but because I’ve always loved theatre ever since I was a kid. Until now, I continue to cultivate that passion by also being part of the audience of plays being staged. I may not make much money out of this, fame even –who needs fame anyway.  Nevertheless, I see this as a means of unleashing pent-up emotions coursing through me as I face life’s daily struggles, of validating my humanity by coming as close to life as I can get like asymptotes do.

What we have in the culinary arts, we have in theatre too. In culinary and pastry art, we express ourselves through the colors, textures, shapes and flavors of the food we place on our plates. In theatre, the stories come to life in vivid colors, the characters, in countless dimensions and textures, subtleties and nuances included. As in any form of art, both imitate life.

It has never occurred to me I’d be part of Koine’s Subtext someday. Well, that someday turns out to be just a few days from now. And I’m counting.